You are going to meet the woman of your dreams, and so you are nervous and you don’t know how to act. Now you wished you had some practice before, but it’s too late. What should you talk about to show that you are not a complete idiot who never dated anyone smart or sexy?

OK, relax… since it’s actually a lot easier than you think. The first time after you asked the woman out to do something on a date, it should be uniquely interesting. You want to leave a good first impression so that she wants to see you for the second time.

What’s Important On A First Date?

First of all, be yourself. Listen to the woman, but be yourself. It’s not that you will scream “Hey biatch, let’s go shagging in the privy”, that’s not what will turn her towards you, neither will it be some fluff talk where you seek approval the whole time.

Be yourself, talk about interesting stuff you do, leave that whole job application style at home and don’t let the date turn into an interrogation. Examples:

• How old are you?
• What do your parents do?
• What’s your income?
• What kind of guys do you usually date?
• Do you have boyfriend? (Exception: if you want to use boyfriend destroyer techniques on her)

Those are all no-goes on the first date. Just enjoy yourself, have a laugh, talk about people you see, stuff you have been up to lately, great hobbies, things you love (not your ex-friends!) and whatever speaks your mind. It can even be about dating and how hard it is to find an interesting women. Or, veer into something slightly sexual like how to kiss a woman!

If everything else fails, keeping your mouth shut is an option!

Interesting Topics For First Dates

Or, alternatively, how to flirt with a girl

Now you may run into a problem, you may not have an interesting things to talk about, well there is only one good way to change that – change your life to the better. Write down a top five list of what you wanted to do, or better, a top ten list. The most interesting thing to do would be to actually do all the stuff you wrote down!

In case you are in a hurry you can do the next best thing: just talk about how much fun for example surfing would be and that you are planning your next vacation to be at a nice beach with a surf course. Some interesting hobbies could be extreme sports, cooking, arts, your rock band, … to cut this short, just something that shows that you are a real human with hobbies that make you attractive.

To make you understand this better, people never want what they can get easy, this has been found out in psychology and sociology, so don’t be someone that’s easy to get when you keep on acting as if the women is something special and you are not. It’s equally hard for a woman to find a good man as for a man to find a good woman.

I am not an alpha male. (Sue me.)

I found out about my not being an alpha male the hard way a little over a year ago, when I got into a terrible public speaking accident in Las Vegas.

(A brief summary of the event:

Cal Pont (whispering): In most and quite possibly all cases of putative theory reduction by strict identities, we, so to speak, have instead a relation of physical realization or constitution, nicely illustrated by the property of bi-modal convergence… And that, my friends, is the simplest and most effective way to meet and connect with women.

Audience: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.)

I never realized I have had glossophobia before I went on stage in Bellagio hotel on that day (it was my first ever attempt at public speaking.) Whenever I find myself challenged, I switch into the default philosopher mode. Nothing works better than a bit of Hegel to confuse an opponent before I kick him in the nuts and run away.

Unfortunately, this tactic didn’t help me much in Las Vegas, because people who witnessed my fiasco told me they couldn’t hear me even in the first row… which is a bummer, considering that I had a Frank T.J. Mackie-style microphone on me and that it was attached on the other end to the public address system normally used for announcing fire drills.

Of course, my fear of public speaking doesn’t prevent me from getting more pussy than a proverbial toilet seat, all cat doctors in New York’s Tri-State area, and the entire staff of Microsoft corporation put together (probably not that difficult), but still, I’m not an alpha male. I find life easier this way. If I were an alpha male, I would have to spend a lot of money on blood pressure medication.

I know, I know: it’s been scientifically proven that you can’t get laid unless you’re an alpha male. That is, if you’re a baboon. If you are a human though, there’s still hope (even if dating, generally, sucks). I mean, if Seth Rogen can get chicks, the sky is the limit for you. Especially if you know a killer mind control seduction tactic like fractionation.

Alpha Males: My Observations

Not being an alpha male, I still find them fascinating. Unfortunately, I have yet to meet a true human alpha male. The problem is, according to the classic definition, the alpha male is the only male in the tribe whom all other males look up to. At this very moment, thanks to the success of Internet and failure of contraception, our tribe consists of 6,749,389,661 individuals (if you count Crispin Glover), and all of us never look up to the same guy. I can think of only one man to ever approach a status of true alpha male, and it’s Santa Claus.

God doesn’t fit the bill, either: even though He had mentioned once that he was Alpha, he immediately got shy, took it back and added humbly, “and Omega”. By the way, the conversational technique He used is the combination of Push/Pull and Disqualification. (I’m lucky God has a sense of humor. Not all of His followers do.)

So, as I said, I never met a human alpha male. I’ve met many struggling alpha males, though. Technically this makes them beta males, but still, one can’t help admiring their efforts.

Like many of the fellow scholars of the subject, I first had a chance to closely observe the behavior of aspiring alpha males when I was at high school: they were the burly guys, good at football, bad at math and awful with girls because of their (males, not girls) conversational style (grunts). Me, I was a popular kid, not only among girls but especially among the members of my school’s football team: I was really good at math and they all wanted me to do their homework (While they hone their seduction techniques in the field.)

Of course, because of my popularity, it required some effort to get my attention, so these guys sometimes had to go as far as holding me upside down over a toilet (which wasn’t easy even for them, as I was a chubby kid.) But I’m proud to say, in the end they always got good marks.

A Deeper Look Into Alpha Maleism

My later field study of would-be-alpha-male behavior has led me to creating the classification of the two main types of the Alpha Male: Busy Alpha Male and Lazy Alpha Male (and remember that when I say “Alpha” I mean “Beta”.)

Busy Alpha Male type is easy to recognize. These are the guys who walk up and join your set hoping to walk away with your girl, scowling, glaring, flexing their muscles and altogether straining themselves so much that you might think they are about to either poop or have a baby Alpha Male. Their eyes appear glazed, which gives an overall impression that they are also playing the title role in their own private inner-screen version of the “Terminator” movie.

Fortunately, the tough image such guy is trying to project is so important to him that complimenting him on how intimidating he looks usually leaves him dazed, confused and disarmed, revealing a nice, slightly frustrated corporate IT worker that had been hiding under the rough exterior all this time.

Lazy Alpha Male types, on the other hand, want to be cool and hip (like desperately donning peacocking accessories), that’s why they act so low key that it seems as if they take a lot of valium simply to wake up. You can never understand what they are saying to you because they speak in the insinuating voices of British TV political commentators and their vocabulary is mostly jive learned from a dictionary.

Lazy Alpha Males try really hard to avoid any eye contact, hoping to create the impression that they would calmly walk right by you even if you were having brain surgery performed on you with chainsaws by a gang of fat Elvis impersonators. A Lazy Alpha Male would join your set and focus his unfocused gaze on your girl, and then he would ignore you hoping not so much that you leave, but rather that you stick around and admire his unavailability.

Luckily, Lazy Alpha male demeanor is inevitably a mask protecting the face of a severe attention seeker. He thrives on people’s failed attempts to engage him… by playing mind games on others. These guys can’t handle physical contact. So a good counter tactic is to put your arm around the guy and just walk away with him. Chat at him as you walk, bring him into a different set, and he will get stuck there, doing his best to ignore everyone in the new group.

That’s it for today. 🙂