I like to envision myself as a scholar, a philosopher, a man of letters.
Then I get back to reality and find myself doing things that have much greater practical relevancy than study, meditation and reflection – with Exhibit A being my recent Mexican experience of mastering the swimming pool backflip. It’s a highly valuable skill (especially if you are a salmon), which guarantees a lot of fun and well-earned self-respect to those who manage to survive the first seven hundred attempts (usually this means the bystanders). It’s also an awesome way on how to manipulate women and enslave them for life. Kid ya not.
But I digress…
My backflips are very fast. As it was impossible to capture Bruce Lee’s kung fu strikes on film at twenty four frames per second because he managed to dismember, disembowel, and decapitate a dozen of his opponents between each two frames, so it has proved beyond the reach of modern photographic technology to register the split second of my hovering in the air during the backflip. The difference, of course, is that Bruce Lee was known to slow down sometimes, when asked politely. I can’t. I’m too fast.
This is I on the photo (or should I have written “this is me on the photo”? English can be so very confusing.) Of course I cannot prove it’s me (or I), so you’ll have to take my word for it. You’ll also have to take my word for the fact that it was indeed a full-fledged, perfectly executed backflip, and not, as has been insinuated by a number of evil, envious people, a vulgar ass-forward drop.
The photo credit belongs to my (very current) girlfriend (whom I had done a cold approach on with great success), who is not only an accomplished photographic artist, but also a perfect ten. If you look closer, you might be able to see her reflection in every molecule of water my athletic body raised from the pool.
I am certain that my ability to handle danger is what attracts her to me. Living on the edge – that’s why style.
Addendum: I’ve since broken up with the said girlfriend, and am now working tirelessly to get her back.