I’m never too lazy to write new articles for this blog, but every now and then I get pretty damn busy.
I’ve been teaching courtship almost every day for the last few months. So I’ve decided I could use some help. Today I am introducing a blog post by a guest writer, a young woman from Stockholm named Jessy. Have you encountered women so beautiful that men grow frightened and slightly sad in their presence? Jessy is like that. I met her on a plane on my way back home to New York after a few days of teaching abroad. I asked Jessy to write something for my blog.
“I enjoy conversations with men, but sometimes there are awkward moments when during a man and a woman grow silent, and both are thinking frantically: “Oh my God. I should say something!”
But nothing comes to mind.
If something like this happens to you, don’t say anything. Silence will be much better than obvious and strained attempts to strike a new topic. Of course, some guys specialize in “silent seduction” – where they attract women using nothing but body language. Let me be clear: non-verbal communication is one of the deadliest seduction technique there is. It’s no joke.
(Or worse, commit the “faking familiarity” deadly sin like what the great Derek Rake said inside the Shogun Method.)
A guy once actually said to me on a date after we were silent for quite a while – he said: “I like it. I like how we can be silent and don’t have to say anything. I think it’s fun.”
It was such a relief to hear him say that. I relaxed and no longer felt annoyed by the inner voice nagging me: “Say something, say something”. All uneasiness was gone. It was the next level in our intimacy: now it was OK not to talk.
It’s OK Not To Talk… Really
“Funny, now I see he did actually say something, he wasn’t completely silent. But he didn’t pretend, and he didn’t fake interest.”
I support Jessy’s insight. In my opinion, the true mastery of any art can be found on the opposite side of that art. As the mastery of combat comes when the battle is won before it began, so the verbal mastery is founded on silence.
A man should value his words. Being laconic is manly and attractive. After all, it only takes one sentence to make a woman fall in love.