Damn you friend zone for all the lost souls you’ve devoured. Almost every guy has been in the friend zone at some point in their life. I know I have. It starts out like a fairy tale. You meet the woman of your dreams. She’s funny, cute, has the same interests and seems like she’s totally into you. It makes perfect sense to want to escalate the relationship, to make her your girlfriend. So one day you gather up the courage to have the talk. You spill your feelings with complete and utter vulnerability. And how does she respond? She gives you four words that have haunted men for ages. Lets just be friends.
Don’t worry, with a little work and these 5 tips on how to escape and avoid the friend zone, you can never return to it again.
1. Stop acting like her girlfriend.
If she treats you like her girlfriend then you’ll never be her boyfriend. This is important. Don’t let a woman talk about her day at work, the jerk she’s dating or the minute details of her boring life. Be honest with yourself and admit that you don’t care. Because as soon as she’s done unloading her life problems on you, she goes out with the jerk she’s dating and has amazing sex. So ask yourself, do you want to be the jerk she’s dating or her girlfriend that gets crapped on?
2. Don’t be needy.
Women want to be with a strong, independent and decisive man. Being needy subconsciously communicates the complete opposite. If you’re always calling, texting, emailing and asking her out, it shows you have nothing better in your life than her. Be the leader in the relationship. Don’t ask her where she wants to eat, just take her to your favorite place. Don’t ask if the clothes you’re wearing are fine, wear them with confidence no matter how ugly they really are. Simply put, don’t seek her approval by being needy. Any woman will attest to how big of a turn-off that can be.
3. Make yourself unavailable
Along the same lines as not being needy, is making yourself unavailable. Robert B. Cialdini, Ph.D. explains in his book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion that opportunities seem more valuable to us when their availability is limited. If you’re always around, a woman will never have the chance to miss you. How exactly do you accomplish this without completely blowing her off? Easy. When she calls, let it go to voicemail and call her back later that day explaining how busy you were earlier. If she wants to hang out, tell her you’re busy and reschedule on your terms. Make her feel like you’re doing her a huge favor by taking time out of your busy schedule to spend time with her.
4. Create sexual tension.
This can be gradually accomplished by initiating kino, any physical touching. Kino can be initiated at anytime with any woman if done correctly. Start by touching her hand when you talk. Then touch her elbow, then her arm, then her back, and in due course you’ll have you’re arms wrapped around her in a full-fledged make-out session. While running the kino gambit, consistently be throwing out sexual innuendos. This gets her thinking about sex when she’s around you. Be careful though, too much of either, kino or sexual innuendos, can scare a girl off which brings me to my last tip.
5. Never be afraid to walk away.
Chances are the girl you’re trying to win over isn’t Megan Fox. Having other options available makes you more attractive to women. I’m sure you’ve seen it before in every lame romantic comedy. Guy gets heart broken by woman. Guy moves on to a more attractive and compatible woman. Ex-girlfriend sees guy is happy and tries to get him back. So get out and meet other women. You’ll enjoy life more and possibly spark some attraction in your lady friend. Plus if it doesn’t turn out how you wanted you’ll be relieved knowing she can’t put you in the friend zone if you’re not around.